The Life of Cortney and Trevor: June 2011

Do you know how much I miss you? There are times when I know it just can't be true. You can't be gone but then I have to face reality and know that you are gone but it is so hard to accept. I thought it would get easier with time but honestly it doesn't. There are still times when I think of funny prank calls and want to call and try it on you but I can't. A little while ago my mom and I made tapioca and yes, it was good but it was hard to make without you. I loved when you would make it for me all the time when I would sleep over and we would put a bowl in the fridge so we could eat it later. My mom called and told me that she went to one of grandpa's games and it made her sad because you weren't there. It was obvious that you weren't there because you would always be the loudest one there. I talk to T and Mase about you all the time because I don't want them to forget about you. T tells me that you are with Jesus and Roxy which I know you are and you are happy there but I am still so sad. I wish I could talk to my kids about you and take them over to your house. Instead, I know that you are in Heaven taking care of them like Chelsee has said before but I want to see you with them. Trevor and I were talking about what our Fourth of July plans are and I thought that we could make homemade ice cream because that is our tradition but Dog Face, it was you and me who would make it together. Now what do I do? I know I will see you again but right now I will just try to be strong and keep going, I know you will be cheering me and all of our family on just from a distance.

Over Memorial all of the family went to do what you and grandpa would always do. We went and saw the graves of family but this time was different. You were one of the graves that we went to see...I didn't think we would be doing that for a really long time. We put a windmill on there for you, and T and Mase let balloons go. Then we went for a really short drive according to grandpa to see fossils, look out points, bridges, water, rocks, vandalism by Pops and GG, and well anything else that grandpa wanted to show us or look at for himself. Let's just say there would have been a lot of..."CLARK" and maybe some "rabbits". To end the long long long long long long long long long but "short" "short" "short" "short" "short" adventure, we all wanted to go to Wingers but somehow ended up at JB'S in Price. You would have loved it, I wish you could have been there. As long as it was, I really did enjoy it.

Do you realize how much I miss you? I keep having dreams about you and some of them seem so real! I swear when I wake up you will still be there but when I wake up you aren't. I can't explain how depressing that it is. I heard a song a while back that said:

if heaven wasn’t so far away
I’d pack up the kids and go for the day Introduce them to their grandpa Watch ‘em laugh at the way he talks
Then tell him we’d be back in a couple of days In the rear view mirror we’d all watch ‘em wave Yeah, and losing them wouldn’t be so hard to take

I related this song to you, I really wish heaven wasn't so far away but I know it doesn't work like that but that is what makes Eternity so much better. I look forward to seeing you, I miss you bad..really bad.

Always Remember Who Loves You,
Cortney

Oh and ps..thanks for raising such an amazing daughter...my mom is so amazing and I really appreciate her.

I am sorry but before I post about our Memorial Weekend, I found more Disneyland Pics that I wanted to share!!! Sorry if there are any repeats!!

If you can't tell, I really love Disneyland...

People found this pic to very impressive..I memorized where they took the pic which is quite impressive because it is dark the whole time until the flash...